Kick Ass for the Lord

Kick Ass for the Lord: an action horror game

Inspired by one of the greatest lines in movie history


The Year is 2XXX AD, and the Lord is pissed off at humanity. He's so mad he sends messengers to wake up people to beat the Devil out of everyone. These messengers tell you it's time to kick evil's ass and chew bubble gum. And you're fresh out of gum. So go beat up demons, vampires, and ghosts. Cus it's time to Kick Ass for the Lord.

What you'll need:

  • These setting rules

  • Risus the Anything RPG rules

  • The Risus companion helps too but not required

  • At least 10 six sided dice

  • A group of friends

  • Somethings to drink (beer,soda, water Manischewitz.)

  • Something to eat (salty snacks, candy, vegi sticks, Bamba)

To start the game

Everyone prays:

Mi domine, adiuva nos calce asinum, Amen.

at the beginning of each session. Bad times and less ass kicking will follow if this step is skipped.

Next is making your character: they have to follow three very important rules for the primary cliché:

  • Rule 1: gotta believe in a higher power.

  • Rule 2: gotta kick some ass.

  • Rule 3: you are apart of the good guys, no matter how you achieve it.

A couple of example primary clichés includes:

  • A Baptist preacher who is a champ MAA fighter (4)

  • An Amish farmer who is a terrifying street fighter and is sick and tired of the devil (4)

  • An Imam who studies Judo to kick some freaking Yokai ass (4)

  • A Rabbi who has enough guns to supply a small army (4)

The three rules

  1. Generally speaking while the game has an Abrhamic faith tinge to it, any belief system that believes in higher powers and an afterlife can and should kick ass. Sorry Neichiz, believing in yourself will not stop a Kappa from sucking your intestines through your ass, you need protection. Atheists and Agnostics need not apply either.

  2. Pacifist need to have a good excuse on why they're joining the butt kicking. A Quaker with a mean streak a mile long (4) needs to have a good excuse of going to kill a demon possessed heavy metal singer.

  3. Speaking of a demon possessed heavy metal singer, you are the good guys. Playing someone who is a Satan worshiper, secret or not, will not be allowed to play. Its because as the big man JC said himself: why would the demons fight one another? The caveat of course is you can be a bit moral ambiguous about how you get your ultimately divine and righteous goal done. In other words: When on a mission from God: The Ends can Justify the means.

The next few clichés deal with your day job (3), your hobby that you are good at (2), and you're hobby that you're crap at (1).

Gear: Everyone has access to an extensive library of knowledge of the supernatural, weapons of choice for their preferred method of fighting, and supplies to do their day job, and of course their hobbies.

Example character

Micheal McLogin

  • Scottish Catholic who studies jujitsu to fight them demons(4)

  • A Catholic Priest (3)

  • Origami expert (2)

  • American Cuisine chef (1)

Kicking ass

Adventures are simple: some evil mother trucker is corrupting people or doing bad stuff.

Fix it hero. The evil guy can be demons, demon possessed people, monsters, yokai, shadow people what have you. And the target is generally innocent people.

For example: Devil worshiping drug dealers are selling pot infused with Beelzebub. Stop them from possesing people through smoking tainted Devil's Lettuce.

It's that easy.

As a GM for Risus, I prefer the five finger adventure design from the Risusverse. But whatever method you like, you do.

Closing thoughts and thanks

This setting is dedicated to my moral chads and paladins who are tired of people saying bad guys have all the fun. Also dedicated to Peter Jackson's Brain Dead, for the games namesake and inspiration. Also special mention to Paladins and Dragonraid, for being huge inspirations. And also Time Wizards for the inspiration for starting the game.

Now go kick ass for The Lord!

Lord, help me kick ass!: Fun and Smiting in the name of the Lord!

These are other rules that you can use for Kick Ass for the Lord! They are not required to make the game better. But Enhances the game play, rule clarifications and some monster and people who seriously need their asses kicked.

The first things first: who can actually kick ass?

Like I said, anyone who believes in a higher power and an after life can do this. Which means that Not only your Christian minister, but Rabbi's, Imams, Buddhist's monks can kick ass(Hell, get that holy kung fu fighting in the game.) You can even switch it up and have a game of Kick Ass for the Gods. Pagan priests/priestesses can kick ass for good gods and goddesses. (Or at least, not dickish gods depending on the pantheon we're talking about.) Gods of the underworld, including generally nice guy Hades, cannot contribute to kicking ass. The GM has the final say what gods are allow to kick evil's ass. (Follow those three rules from the main rules.)

Did you just kick Cthulhu in the ass?

Another thing these rules deal with is Elder Gods and the Old ones. In the traditional mythos: these beings are neigh invulnerable and will lead those who see them into incurable madness. These rules say screw that noise! Fighting the Mythos is the same as fighting any other evil doer. The biggest difference is madness.

The player characters are already a bit crazy. They still have to make a madness save at the beginning ( it's an easy (5) save though.) If they do fail the save. Their faith is shaken a bit but otherwise they fight on and comes back at the end of the fight. The big change is fighting the bigger things of the Mythos. They pack a wallop (10 dice or more!) And they fight as if they are using inappropriate clichés! ( even when the cliché is very much appropriate fighting) if it is actually inappropriate then it counts as pumping the cliche, without the down side of pumping the cliché! (They are Eldergods after all!)

Demons, devils and all that crap!

So like with regular Risus enemies are entirely made up by the GMs. However you should follow this scale of pain, which is how many clichés a monster should have! (Or not, I ain't your mother.)

  • 1 - weaksauce and cannon fodder: puppy, kitten, toddlers.

  • 2 - kinda weak, but can be tough in groups: imps, gnomes, kid causing trouble.

  • 3 - normal threats and other things: Orcs, Human thugs, and attack dogs

  • 4 - a little bit of the touch of evil: Drug dealers with hard drugs pushing on the kids, nazis and satanists. not actually possessed by evil but getting there; alternativly they are possessed by evil but still have room for redemption.

  • 5 - they are Touched by a Demon: Satan worshiping heavy metal singers. Demons who are disguised as communists/fascists. A necromancer.

  • 6 through 10 - actual monsters with 10 being the Devil (and beings like the Devil) himself. You want to avoid higher cilché levels until final fights of the game.

What's the Theme?

Kick ass for the Lord's theme is a hard thing to describe because it tows the line between funny and offensive. The theme I wanted to go for is an Adult Saturday Morning Cartoon. It's meant to have clear good guys and bad guys and morals are shoved down your throat but the good guys aren't so noble and the morals are a bit messed up. (Think of GI Joe but the heroes are actually brutal mercenaries hired by The U.S. to fight the drug war by shooting or maiming a man smoking weed to scare weed smokers straight.) But this can lead the game to be extremely offensive, given what I'm going for.

I don't, as a creator, want to water down this game anymore than I have to. So the best advice I can give is Read the room and the players. Be an adult and talk about what is on the table with the players. Not much else about it. Some people can have a good laugh at things that some people might not like.

So those are some ideas for Kick Ass For the Lord. Use it in good health.