Egon and Eli

Egon and Eli

  • Genre: Fantasy

  • Tone: Silly

  • Campaign Options: Hooks and Tales, Pumping Clichés, Double Pumps

  • Description: A basic fantasy tale in which a knight is give his apprentice a tour of his lord's lands.

  • Characters: Use standard fantasy clichés (double pump required for magic type stuff).

  • Sir Egon (Catnip)

  • Eli (Catnip)

  • Pon Zinjon (didaskei)


Here is Sir Egon, and his apprentice, Eli. They are traveling far as Egon shows Eli the true lands. One day, they were hiking up a mountain. Oh crud. Lost. It's a huge mountain that Egon's father had said he had climbed once, but Egon wasn't too sure of himself. Eli is scared and doubtful. Then, a person jumped in their path...

"Finally - you are here! I knew you would come!" shouted the wide-eyed and wild-haired man wearing discolored rags. His white hair stood out from his head as if he had been hit by lightning and his bony arms and legs shown through the holes in his weather beaten robes. "Follow me quickly, there is not much time." The old man began to scamper off, then turned around and motioned with his arms for Eli and Egon to follow. "Hurry now - or I will have to find someone else!" . . .

Egon followed the man, hearing a dragon call form close by. Eli followed without a word. He led them to a cavern with many other people.

"You're safe here." said the man, leaving them.

"Hello." said a nice looking fellow. "I am Follon. Who are you?"

"Egon," said Egon. "Great rider under King Rehen."

"I am his apprentice, Eli." stated Eli, rather seriously.

"I'm Pon," said a darkly hooded figure. His weather-beaten cloak covered a thin yet muscular frame. Across his back lay a well crafted and beautifully carved multicolored longbow. It was hard to discern exactly what kind of wood the bow had been carved from. Whatever wood it was, it was not something Eli or Egon had seen before. Pon continued, "We have been here a long time. Who knows--"

Just then, there was a great crashing.

"THE DRAGON FOUNDS US! EVERYBODY, HEAD FOR THE SLOPES!" The wide eyed man wailed, trying to distract the dragon.

"May I come with you. I have no one else to travel with." Asked Pon.

"Certainly." Eli answered, not even wondering what Egon would say. The three ran, Pon leading because he knew where the slopes were.

Egon looked back over his shoulder to watch how the old man was doing. Egon's jaw dropped as he watched the old man make insulting gestures at the dragon. Then the old man began to spout off a series of insults, including a few "yo mama" jokes. The dragon seemed more puzzled by the jokes than angered. Finally, the now-cackling old man turned around and bared his backside to the dragon. Since bum-bearing is an insult in any culture, the dragon knew its beasthood had been clearly challenged and responded appropriately. It raised its head, roared fiercely, took a deep breath, and let forth an eruption of flame from its fanged mouth. Evidently the old man was also letting something forth, because instead of the dragon's fire consuming the old man, it seemed to ignite an invisible gas, and with the sound of a giant thunderclap a blue ball of flame hid both the dragon and the old man from view.

Egon was not exactly sure what he had just witnessed - though he did have his suspicions. Whatever had happened, it was obvious that the old man had succeeded in distracting the dragon. Egon made a mental note to personally thank the crazy old man should the two of them ever meet again.

The journey to the slopes took longer than either Egon or Eli expected and both were out of breath when they reached this supposed place of safety. Strangely, Pon was not out of breath at all. Egon also noticed that Pon seemed to have led them apart from the others escaping the dragon, so now they were alone on the upper slopes of this mountain. Suddenly the wind began to pick up. Black boiling clouds began to descend upon their position. Lightning flashed nearby. Eli noticed that as the lightning flashed there seemed to be a kind of fire ignited in Pon's eyes.

"Gods, how I love a good thunderstorm" smirked Pon. "What's the matter Eli - you look frightened?"