Dangos!!!
by Christopher Coker

What is a Dango? 
A Dango is a 2 foot tall, furry fae creature that look like crosses between an imp and a small dog. They live in primitive societies in which they raise their young, defend their burrows, research cold fusion and hunt for food. Their food is, of course, delicious human babies. Nothing better then a squiggly little human runt just before you go out to hit rocks against other rocks. You know, normal civilization stuff.

There are several different kinds of Dangos (and there for Dango Clichés), each with their own outlook, abilities and taste in babies.

Thick Dangos: Thick Dangos are strong! They can lift several babies at once and maybe even a human child! Thick Dangos like to climb! Everything is so nice and dizzy on top of a human hovel. Thick Dangos are, well, thick! In both body and mind. Thick Dangos like baby brains...it’s the thinking muscle! They look like an Imp crossed with a Pug.

Flame Dangos: Fire is good, so flame dangos like to MAKE fire. They’re also really good at LOOKING at fire (and other things, but that’s not as fun). And to get a really GOOD look at something, you need to be really close to it, so Flame Dangos are really good at running. Flame Dangos are weird...they COOK their babies! They look like an imp crossed with a terrier (usually with burnt fur).

Dango Dangos: Some humans say that not all Dangos are baby eating monsters. Some Dangos go into your house to fix your shoes, or do your laundry, or something. Some humans are dumb. Dango Dangos are good at lying, especially to dumb humans. Dango Dangos are also good at fixing things, just in case they get caught while stealing a baby. They like their babies with something they call salt and pepper. They look like an imp crossed with a corgi.

Slime Dangos: Slime Dangos LOVE WATER! It’s so fun to swim up Human pipes to steal babies and other stuff. Slime Dangos are hard to catch, because they’re so slimy! They also didn’t get hugged much as little dangos. Because of this, they’re really good at sounding like a human baby, to distract big dumb humans. They like their babies after a good soak. They look like an imp crossed with a Chihuahua (a wet one, of course).

Science Dangos: The average Dango just doesn’t understand WHY he wants baby for dinner. We’re doing studies as too why. Science Dangos are Smart, obviously. They also have facilities with locks and other items of a mechanical nature. Finally, Science Dangos are really good at throwing rocks. It’s the height of science, after all (well, except for cold fusion). They like their babies with a fine red wine and light conversation. They look like an imp crossed with a Shih Tzu (with a lab coat on, of course).

The purpose of the game is simple: Your group is a hunting party of Dangos, going into a local human town to get some food, equipment and supplies for their burrows. The complications include parents (as if they can't make more!), pets, older siblings, the occasional falling heavy thing and changlings (non-human babies). Less likely would be traitor Dangos, Dango hunters and the dreaded baby cold (can kill an entire burrow!).

The game uses Options I and II, and maybe some wacky dice for the humans if you're feeling evil. Double pump clichés aren't that appropriate as Dangos don't use magic. Again, evil GM's may give it to humans... But what kind of dummy Dangos would go into a town where there's magic? CRAZY! Character creation must include one of the Dango types above, though it doesn't have be the primary stat.

A note on Cold Fusion: Sure they can have a cliché in it... but they'll need to drag around a really REALLY cumbersome cold fusion generator made of wood and stone to use it... which isn't that productive when sneaking around. Still... the idea of a little Dango with a lab coat on with a cold fusion gun is just too goofy too pass up.

Final note: No, I don't eat babies. Stop asking! ... though I do have a modest proposal for you...
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